Dissecting The Argument

Communication is the vital part of any relation. But what to do when our sincere attempts to communicate results in an arguments. I mean you just wanted to showcase your point , but you end up fighting. This can happen with anybody. Heated discussion with your spouse, sibling, parent, friend etc. is not very uncommon. However, frequent arguments may leave a bad taste, especially between couples, leading to gradual detachment.

Frequent disagreements are usually an indicator of under lying issues in your relationship, and not necessarily due to current discussion. Or to put it lightly, generally aisa hota hai ki world war-1 ka hisaab world war-2 me kiya jata hai…🙄 This is because mostly there is an abrupt end to a fight without identifying and sorting the real issue, causing it to persist and get forwarded. This in-turn causes a feeling of incompleteness and dissatisfaction, leading to many arguments in our day to day life.

Argument can occur due to various reason, but are mostly indicative of behavioural problems origination from ones personality traits. These problems may emerge as undesired anger or rudeness/roughness in behaviour leading to frequent friction with your partner. Holding grudge for something that happened in past or underestimating your partner by not giving him/her appreciation that s/he deserves, should be avoided for a healthy relationship. Ego is another big problem, specially in couples. Many times we argue only because samne wale ka Ego bahot bada hota hai. Manipulating your partner into doing something that you desire will eventually frustrate them. On the other hand Narcissistic attitude will make your partner feel disrespected and increase the hostility between both of you. The last but of course not the least taunting, the Brahmashatra, works as fuel to the fire. Taunting always leaves a permanent bad mark and makes relationship even worse.

These are the “Whys” of the frequent occurences of any argument. So basically if you want to avoid argument then thumb rule is to focuse on the A-R-G-U-M-E-N-T itself to figure out the “real”reason rather than deciding who is right or who is wrong. My favourite Gulzaar Sahab has summed up this beautifully in following lines …