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Dissecting The Argument

Communication is the vital part of any relation. But what to do when our sincere attempts to communicate results in an arguments. I mean you just wanted to showcase your point , but you end up fighting. This can happen with anybody. Heated discussion with your spouse, sibling, parent, friend etc. is not very uncommon. However, frequent arguments may leave a bad taste, especially between couples, leading to gradual detachment.

Frequent disagreements are usually an indicator of under lying issues in your relationship, and not necessarily due to current discussion. Or to put it lightly, generally aisa hota hai ki world war-1 ka hisaab world war-2 me kiya jata hai…🙄 This is because mostly there is an abrupt end to a fight without identifying and sorting the real issue, causing it to persist and get forwarded. This in-turn causes a feeling of incompleteness and dissatisfaction, leading to many arguments in our day to day life.

Argument can occur due to various reason, but are mostly indicative of behavioural problems origination from ones personality traits. These problems may emerge as undesired anger or rudeness/roughness in behaviour leading to frequent friction with your partner. Holding grudge for something that happened in past or underestimating your partner by not giving him/her appreciation that s/he deserves, should be avoided for a healthy relationship. Ego is another big problem, specially in couples. Many times we argue only because samne wale ka Ego bahot bada hota hai. Manipulating your partner into doing something that you desire will eventually frustrate them. On the other hand Narcissistic attitude will make your partner feel disrespected and increase the hostility between both of you. The last but of course not the least taunting, the Brahmashatra, works as fuel to the fire. Taunting always leaves a permanent bad mark and makes relationship even worse.

These are the “Whys” of the frequent occurences of any argument. So basically if you want to avoid argument then thumb rule is to focuse on the A-R-G-U-M-E-N-T itself to figure out the “real”reason rather than deciding who is right or who is wrong. My favourite Gulzaar Sahab has summed up this beautifully in following lines …

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Published by Lovely

Finding patterns in my jumbled thoughts.

80 thoughts on “Dissecting The Argument

  1. This is true because sometimes trying to be the right one always can make your friends or family members feel you are trying to control there thinking instead of helping them to know better what they don’t know. I agree with your point of appreciating your friends or partners when they make a remarkable reason. To make them feel you respect there feelings too.

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    1. Thanks. IMO there should be balance between appreciation and criticism due to the fact that both are equally important for growth and betterment.

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  2. I respect what you have said. It is really true. It is true that one if us become more angry. There may or may not be a reason for the quarrel, but it does happen. Sometimes I think it is something very different that decides the dispute or difference.
    कभी कभी बस यूही हो जाता हैं
    कारण नहीं यहभी कारण हो शायद…

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  3. I loved how you dissected the elements of an argument. I’ve never thought of it this way previously and it made me conscious of the energy I put out into the world when I engage in an argument with someone – even myself! I will definitely keep this as a reference and also use it to teach my clients about effective communication. Thank you!

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